Sexual Insanity

March 2006

Last month school officials in Brockton, Massachusetts, suspended a six-year-old first grader for “sexually harassing” a classmate. Allegedly, he put two fingers inside the waistband of a female first-grader during class. No further contact was alleged.

The case generated national attention with most commentary suggesting that it was absurd to charge a toddler with sexual harassment. Editorials, psychologists, and educators parroted the same line: six-year-olds don’t have an understanding of sexuality and thus it’s unfair to punish them for sexual harassment.

While such challenges to the school’s absurd policy are welcome, they are terribly flawed. Implicit in these criticisms is the notion that had the boy’s interest indeed been sexual, severe punishment would be warranted. And to suggest that a pre-pubescent child is incapable of sexual curiosity and interest is to deny human reality. Ironically, critics of the Brockton school officials raise more alarms about what sexual values we are teaching kids than does the misguided disciplinary action itself.

Think back to your own childhood: don’t you have memories of Janie showing the boys at recess, away from teachers’ eyes, how she was different “down there”? of engaging in peeing contests with other boys, all eagerly checking  out the willies thereby on display? of concocting elaborate doctor games that required getting naked for various “treatments” that focused on private parts? Kinsey confirms that many toddlers go further, engaging in explicit sexual activity.

Of course, none of this sex play is surprising; humans are born with genitals, a libido, and curiosity. There is nothing peculiar about a youngster expressing sexual interest– indeed, it would be odd if they didn’t.

But recent advances in sexual freedom for adults have been offset by a new mythology about the asexuality of kids. “Playing doctor” used to be seen as harmless experimentation; now it can lead to sanctions and legal charges. The anti-sexual attitudes that formerly constrained adult actions are now all focused on enforcing (supposed) childhood chastity and purity. And just as sexual fears and punishments do not make for happy, well-adjusted adults, neither do they create happy, well-adjusted children.

Teaching kids that any sexual expression portends calamity is itself child abuse. Indoctrinating kids that sex is so destructive that they must be shielded from its taint is a rotten foundation for healthy sexual attitudes later in life.

Kids need, of course, education on how and when to express their sexual curiosity. Such instruction should be based on the same sensible values we expect in all sorts of human interactions: consideration of others and anticipation of consequences. We do not masturbate on the bus, not because masturbation is wicked, but because it would upset others. We refrain from making unwanted sexual comments not because sex is vile, but because any unwelcome comments are potentially rude. We do not touch other people– neither their private nor public parts– if they do not want to be touched.

Instead of mythologizing childhood asexuality and constantly warning children of the awful perils of sex, let us demand a more humane and sensible approach. Let us insist that sex be dealt with more honestly and positively. By treating sexuality as something to celebrate rather than fear, we’ll be teaching a lesson the whole world needs to hear.

Pasted from <http://guidemag.com/magcontent/invokemagcontent.cfm?ID=8E310B1D-9B02-49D7-930A4E7C4EBDD49A>